Letting Go of the Roles That No Longer Serve You

We all pick up roles to survive.

Maybe you were the perfectionist—the one who always had to get it right, because if you didn’t, someone else would step in and “fix” it. Or maybe you became the overachiever, constantly pushing yourself to be more, do more, just to feel enough. Or the helper, giving and giving to be loved and needed.

These identities often begin as protection. But at some point, they stop being who we are… and start getting in the way of who we’re meant to become.

I know this because I lived it.

What I Want: A Personal Shift Back to Alignment

For years, I wore the identity of the perfectionist like armor. Growing up, I learned quickly that if something wasn’t perfect, my mother would redo it. So I made it perfect—not for joy or self-expression, but to avoid judgment. To stay safe.

That armor followed me into adulthood.

Into my work. Into how I showed up in the world.


And while it helped me succeed, it also made me shrink.

Perfectionism whispered, “You’re not ready yet.” It kept me from showing up. It kept my magic in the closet—only letting it out when I felt I could control the outcome. It cost me authenticity. It made me feel like an imposter.

But the truth is:

  • You don’t have to be perfect to be powerful.
  • You don’t have to hide to be safe.
  • You don’t have to keep playing a role just because it once helped you survive.

My healing began when I discovered Human Design.


It gave me permission to stop striving and start listening—to my body, to my truth, to what actually felt aligned. I learned how to follow my unique decision-making process, and I began to reconnect with the playful, expressive, radiant self I had tucked away.

Now, I dance. I sing. I laugh loudly and fully.

That’s my real identity. And it feels amazing.


5 Questions to Help You Rediscover Who You Really Are:

  1. What identity or role have I relied on to feel safe, loved, or in control (e.g. perfectionist, achiever, helper)?
  2. When did I first learn that this identity was “necessary” to be accepted or succeed?
  3. How is this role no longer serving me? What is it costing me to keep performing it?
  4. What parts of myself have I hidden, denied, or dismissed to maintain this role?
  5. If I could drop the mask and be fully me—what would that look and feel like today?

You are so much more than a role you’ve outgrown.