What I Got Wrong About Leadership—and What I Know Now
When I first stepped into leadership, I got it wrong.
I shamed people instead of supporting them.
At the time, I thought I was being authentic. I believed blunt honesty was the mark of a strong leader—say what you think, be direct, and people will respect you.
But I was wrong.
What I thought was authenticity was actually harshness. My words may have been true, but they weren’t kind. Instead of building trust, I built walls. Instead of empowering people, I caused harm.
And here’s the bigger truth: this happens far too often in workplaces. Many people are promoted into leadership roles without developing the skills to actually lead. If I had stayed on the path I was on, I would have kept contributing to the same workplace trauma that leaves so many people feeling unseen, unsafe, and undervalued.
I’m grateful I didn’t stay on that path.
The Turning Point
My shift didn’t happen overnight. It came from a deep desire to grow—not just as a leader, but as a person.
I started reading, reflecting, and questioning my old beliefs. Brené Brown’s work, in particular, held up a mirror I couldn’t ignore.
I realized something important:
The truth can be spoken without shame.
It’s not just what you say—it’s how you say it. Leadership isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room or the person with all the answers. It’s about being responsible for the impact of your words and actions.
That realization humbled me—and it changed everything.
How I Lead Now
Today, I lead differently.
✅ I create safe spaces where people feel valued, not judged.
✅ I speak the truth with compassion, not criticism.
✅ I take full responsibility for my actions and their impact.
✅ I use humility and intuition—not ego—as my guide.
I was wrong before, and for that, I ask for forgiveness—from those I led and from myself.
But I’m thankful for the lesson because it taught me what real leadership feels like: not power over others, but the power to lift them up.
A Hope for Other Leaders
If you’re a leader—or hope to become one—I hope my story encourages you to keep learning, keep growing, and keep evolving. Because leadership with heart is how we heal workplace cultures and create environments where people can thrive.
Your Turn
What is something you used to believe about leadership that no longer fits?